Now that mom is awake and more mentally aware of her situation, she is becoming even more discouraged. It's hard to watch her go through this. I think she has officially entered the grieving section of this trial.
She feels sad that she's not able to run and bike, and teach her fitness classes. She's sad and misses the kids from school. She feels scared to start physical therapy and doesn't know what to expect.
It's perfectly normal for this to happen - I'm even grieving and it's not my body. I'm sad for her. Her sadness and feelings of depression seem to be strongest when she has waited too long for her pain medication. In my opinion, when you are in that much pain, it's hard to feel like you'll ever pass through the day. It all seems impossible.
I just keep reminding her that it's okay to feel like crap. It's okay to be sad, mad, depressed, blue, discouraged. It's normal and she needs to feel these things to be able to move on.
We had a good talk this afternoon. I talked to her about just thinking about today. Don't think about tomorrow and most importantly, don't think about anyone else and/or their expectations. Some of you may know that I am currently working on losing weight - so I related to her that every morning, I get up and I just think about that day, that meal, that workout. I don't even think about the next day - it's too overwhelming. I think she'll do that and it might help a little. She's got Dr.'s, nurses, CNA's, family, surgeons, physical therapists, etc -- all of which are telling her what to do or what should happen next. I'm sure she just feels bombarded. But if she takes it minute by minute and forgets about tomorrow, I think it will be a little easier on her. Some people talk to her about "when you get out of here....", "when you get better we'll......", but I think that makes her feel even worse. Mostly because she doesn't know what will happen when she gets out, or how she'll get better.
So, we just keep pluggin' away. Trying to stay positive, yet still allowing her the time and space she needs to get through this on HER terms. And if those terms means grieving for another 3 weeks, then we'll still be here for her in 3 weeks. Her new path isn't a smooth one, or an easy one, but it's one that has to be walked and with the help of supportive friends, family, and most importantly, God - she'll be able to walk it with grace, and determination and when the path ends, she'll come out triumphant. That I know!
I finally got the right blog address. This is De Lane Hyer--your Dad's cousin. My mom, Rhea was in the accident with your Dad. Your mom is doing so much better then my mother was after the accident and she is now the President of Orem's woman's club at age 83. At first she didn't know where her stuff was in her cupboards etc. I am very encouraged by all I read about Lisa. You are very blessed and you have a most wonderful mother--I think the world of her. When she wants visitors I can come. I don't know if she is ready for this but is there any music or something to listen to that she would like? Know that all things work together for your good--this will too. My love and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteDe Lane Andrus Hyer
I think about Lisa everyday and reading how discouraged she is right now is killing me.
ReplyDeleteSend her my love and well wishes, and when she is ready for visitors - please let me know.
xoxox to Lis!