We had a rough day today. Mom was feeling very down and out. She had a couple of visitors this afternoon. An old friend from our old ward, and a friend of hers from her work that she just adores.
After they left we visited for a bit and then we had my cousin and her adorable family, grandma/grandpa, Tonya/Tom, Mel/Lee and the kids. She was really struggling and feeling depressed and discouraged - so for those of you who came today, don't take it personally. After her visitors, we had some dinner and ate outside. It felt good to be out there in the sun. We went back into her room and she got one of her wounds cleaned. It was interesting. It was a huge lump on her leg that they've just been putting bandages on. Today, a physical therapist came in and was a little worried that it might be a hematoma full of blood. She poked a little hole in it and out squirted all this clear fluid. She said it's like the fluid that you get when you have a blister. It was cool yet nasty. But I love that sort of stuff. Mom said her leg felt a lot better after that. They are going to drain it like that everyday for a bit.
She was looking out the window and feeling so sad that she couldn't just get up and go for a run, or even a walk through the grass. This has been so hard for her. It's even harder to watch her knowing that you can't do a dang thing to help her feel better. It almost makes me feel guilty that I have the the capability and she doesn't. I want to get a wheelchair and be her chair pal so she doesn't feel so alone.
The sadness kills me every day. I know she'll get better - but it seems so far away, especially to her. She's gotten through many hard things in the past - I know she'll get through this. I wish I could take her pain and make it mine.
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